How come all the best athletes

Had the poshest kits

While the slow, fat, thin, and spotty ones

Had shorts that didn't fit?

They never lingered in the changing rooms

With a home-made note

Or batted only once

Before they got caught

And how come all the sporty types

Were the first to grow breasts?

They had Marks & Sparks bras

I squirmed in a vest

Never wore their sisters' shorts

With the wrong initial

Or limped back from cross-country

Two hours behind schedule

And how come they said

That games were fun?

If you want the truth

Ask the ones that never won