Oh no, he's buying an island

Oh no, he's building a boat

Why does he never stop smiling?

Fun surrounds him like a deep moat



Where does he get all those stories?

How can he tell such a lie?

He's bound to see purgatory

His views are in short supply



But Peter Pan would understand

His schemes and dreams and ploys

Best keep an eye on his slight hand

He such an altered boy



Good God, he's talking with parrots

Painting his dreams in the sand

Piling up beaucoup demerits

Doing it just 'cause he can



By Jove he's having a cocoa

Evading those judgmental eyes

Calmly walking his tight rope

High above all the outcries



But Peter Pan would understand

His schemes and dreams and ploys

Best keep an eye on his slight hand

He such an altered boy



The story goes

he stumbled at the alter

Now it seems he just blasphemes

And dwells with dangers daughter



Someone call the talking doctor

Somebody get a SWAT team

There he sits getting away with murder

How dare him live out his dreams



But Peter Pan would understand

His schemes and dreams and ploys

Best keep an eye on his slight hand

He such an altered boy



Oh no, he's sailing today

Oh no, beware Paraguay

Oh no, anchors aweigh

Oh no