Call the girls and dress up fine

Tonight I felt like suicide

Roll them dice and pour the wine

Shuffle them cards and deal them fine

Got nobody to kiss tonight

Nothing to lose but my appetite



Wanna be silly and sing and shout

Gotta get legless and fall about

Turn the music up nice and loud

Cheer me up don't bring me down

Gonna lose my job next week

Getting replaced by a silicone chip



I might have been a hero

But I chose to stay in bed

I might have been prime minister

but right now honey I'm better off dead



I might have been a hero

But I chose to stay in bed

I might have been prime minister

but right now honey I'm better off dead



Don't like the scenery don't like the set

Tear it all down and start again

Man keeps talking on the radio

Telling me what I don't wanna know

Radiation wars and layatril

If tax don't get ya then cancer will



I might have been a hero

But I chose to stay in bed

I might have been prime minister

but right now honey I'm better off dead



I might have been a hero

But I chose to stay in bed

I might have been prime minister

but right now honey I'm better off dead



Better off dead, better off dead

Better off dead, better off dead