Do not think it hurts me bad

It doesn't hurt me none

It does not mean anything

I'm fondling this gun.

And I don't hurt that bad

And I don't miss you

I don't eat alone

Wishing I was eating with two.



It's like a sad movie

They always get high ratings

In fact I feel like celebrating

I feel like celebrating.



And do not think I ever thought

That this would really work

It was just sort of a casual thing

Like trying on a shirt.



I don't sit home alone and stare

At your picture wishing that you were still there

I never get lonely

In fact I'm probably masturbating

In fact I feel like celebrating

I feel like celebrating.



Oh goody! Oh joy! I'm finally free!

I no longer have to sit through your mother's casserole recipes

Oh joy! Glee! I'm finally free