When my liquor cabinet is empty

And the local package store is closed

I am paid a visit by an enemy

And the s.o.b. goes by bully jones

He loves showing up out of nowhere

And getting under my skin

The sad thing is he's going to stay there

If I don't score again



Bully Jones Bully Jones Bully Jones

Someday I'm gonna beat him

He'll kill me if I don't

But until I can defeat him

I'll keep on getting stoned

Bully Jones Bully Jones Bully Jones



Big bad dude sure ain't very pretty

His ugly is awfully hard to take

He looks just like a cold turkey

With a real bad case of the shakes

He don't pick on men his own size

He knows he can't win with those

He likes us pale and sick guys

Who are only skin and bones



Bully Jones Bully Jones Bully Jones

Someday I'm gonna beat him

He'll kill me if I don't

But until I can defeat him

I'll keep on getting stoned

Bully Jones Bully Jones Bully Jones



I got some good friends who tie off

And some who tie one on

And just like me they have all lost

The fight with bully jones



Bully Jones Bully Jones Bully Jones

Someday I'm gonna beat him

He'll kill me if I don't

But until I can defeat him

I'll keep on getting stoned

Bully Jones Bully Jones Bully Jones