charlie had a mission

charlie had a quest

charlie had a question that stumped the very best

how do i get a girl close enough to me

to make her mine perpetually?

charlie never got an answer that he used

but due his results he should be excused

charlie had a mission

charlie had a dream

charlie had ambition like you have never seen

charlie had one driving goal in his life

to get a woman close enough to him to make her his wife

he had plenty of shots at the opposite sex

but he always uttered a pessimistic hex

wrong time wrong place

wrong person wrong clothes

and to top it off you got a funny nose

charlie hung at bookstores

charlie hung at bars

he could make a book for his emotional scars

charlie thought that he had reached the end of his rope

when a leggy blonde masqueraded by as hope

charlie staked his life in this...his last attempt

he strutted up beside her and grumbled "ahem!"

[chorus]

charlie got a girl

charlie got a gal

charlie was a squirrel she was his peanut pal

they did everything together both day and night

and despite cohabitation they rarely had a fight

but charlie's dame was a camaro who soon became a hearse

that's when charlie uttered the familiar curse

[chorus