You never really looked certain

In a rented wedding suit from Burton's;

You kicked a football into the net curtains

And broke your mother's heart.

You used to be the family favourite

But now you keep on keeping up the neighbours

Selling E's to all the cheesy quavers

The Smiths died with Tom Jones



Colchester Christopher,

Sweetness and vinegar,

Gold rings and new trainers to

Grey Borstal pullover;



Always someone getting on your nerves,

Making jokes you shouldn't have overheard

There's always someone asking to get hurt

With your snooker stick



Colchester Christopher

Sweetness and vinegar

Gold rings and new trainers to

Grey Borstal pullover



Christopher from Colchester

Time off for good behaviour

Christopher from Colchester

Time off for good behaviour



Colchester Christopher

Sweetness and vinegar

Gold rings and new trainers to

Grey Borstal pullover



Christopher from Colchester

Time off for good behaviour

Christopher from Colchester

Time off for good behaviour



Christopher from Colchester

Time off for good behaviour

Christopher from Colchester

Was a born f-f-f-failure



Christopher from Colchester

Time off for good behaviour

Christopher from Colchester

Was a born f-f-f-failure



Christopher...