In the earliest days of my shoplifting career,

You could safely say I was filled with fear.

It was nail biting work from the very start,

But several quick sucesses soon gave me heart.

After a while I could pick or nick or steal,

Some shirts some trousers and a few LPs.

No-one ever stopped me, they didn't seem to care.

It sometimes seemed to me that there was no-one there.



Then a fine summers day my mates and me,

Set off down the westend on our usual spree.

Things were as normal for an hour or so,

Then my nimble hands were a bit too slow.

Two store detectives made a fast approach,

One grabbed my jacket (you're nicked!)

The other grabbed my throat.

So they caught me at last, one said with joy: