I'm not the one you dream about

And I'm not the one you can't live without

I'm not the one who you wanna see

I'm not the one who you want to be seen with



And when you're tired of all the jerks

And you're tired of all the work

And you're tired of being hurt

You will long for the comfort of my golf shirt



I'm not the one who was an old time punk rocker

I was listening to Rush and trying to feather my hair back

When all that stuff went down

I'm not the one who was in a high school hardcore band

I sat in my room scoring with Ms. Pac-Man



And when you're tired of all the jerks

And you're tired of all the work

And you're tired of being hurt

You will long for the comfort of my golf shirt



No tats, no piercings, no hats, no grunge beard baby, yeah [x4]