I was born under a wandering star

in the second council house of virgo

Forceply removed from the belly of my ma

and raised on milk and pernod

So just lie back and think of England

Because I've slid down banisters

for judges and barristers

readers' wives' husbands

with toothless decay

I've been GBH'd and ABH'd

for a packet of B & H

I've been taken

and I've been driven away

I was fornicating

before I could read or write

and now I can't stop, sir

I graduated from the university of life

and the school of hard knocks, sir

And my telephone is always ringing

and my number is triple X directory

Call 0898 treble three

Talk dirty to me

Oh come all ye unfaithful

joyful, triumphant and pathetically weak

I've been Amsterdamned, reeperbahned

wham bam no thankyou mammed

If the spirit is willing

then the telephone's cheap

And if you want to step outside love

you can step outside love, with me

You can step outside with me

And if we ever meet again

Don't know where

and I don't care when

I'm gonna help you with your sickness like a Jehova's witness

you'll be born again

and again, and again

Just lie back, close your eyes

and think of England

and what England's done for me