Bert is examining a cookie in his hand



Bert: "Mmmmmmm, mmmm."



Ernie: (barging in) "A cookie?! Oh boy a cookie! I love cookies and oh boy am I hungry!"



(He grabs Bert's hand and starts bringing the cookie to his mouth. Bert angrily stops him.)



Bert: "Ernie, ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-HOLD IT!"



Ernie: (tries again) "But it's a cookie and I'm hungry and--"



Bert: (jerks away) "Ernie, this is MY cookie. I've been saving it all day just for ME."



Ernie: "Oh but, Bert, you wouldn't share the cookie with your best friend?"



Bert: "Ernie, I've been saving it; this cookie is for ME."



Ernie: "Oh but Bert, if this were my cookie, I would share it with you."



Bert: (skeptical) "No you wouldn't."



(Bert starts to eat the cookie, Ernie stops him)



Ernie: "Oh but Bert, if this were my cookie, Bert if this were my cookie, I'd be glad to share it with you." (abruptly he snatches it away from Bert)



Bert: "Ernie!"



Ernie: "Just a minute, Bert, just a minute."



Bert: "Ernie, that's my cookie!"



Ernie: "Oh but Bert, if this were my cookie, I'd gladly share it with you. Just ask me."



Bert: "Ernie, that's--"



Ernie: "No, just ask me."



Bert: "This is silly. (forced) Ernie, would you share that cookie with me? Augh!"



Ernie: "Why I'd be glad to! (He breaks it in half, gives one piece to Bert and gobbles down the other half. [Did he get lessons from Cookie Monster?) See, Bert? I told you I'd share the cookie with you. Isn't that better?" (leaves)



Bert: (standing bewildered with the half-cookie) "I don't understand ..."



(Ernie pops back, asking): "Say Bert, would you share that half-cookie with me--"



Bert: "AAAAUUUUUGGGGHH! Leave me alone!"