Fat as i am.

Who wants to see a diva fat as i am?

I get mistaken now for lainie kazan.

How is it that i'm fat as i am?



Fat as i am.

The camera's gonna add a ton to my can.

This is the way they say godzilla began.

How did i get as fat as i am?



"try it again."

All of my friends say i should diet again;

That all my fans are gonna riot again.

"look what happened to liz."



All of my sins

Are not as numerous as . . . all of my chins!

I could audition for the doublemint twins.

No one in the biz is as fat as i is.



Ah, but what's a career

When you put it next to knockwurst and beer?

They could park a dc10 on my rear.

God knows i got the gas!



There goes the chair.

But to tell the truth, i'm too fat to care!

I ate a meatball off the floor right over there.

Ah, you don't give a damn

When you're fat as i am!