My misery has enjoyed company

and although I have ached

I don't threaten anybody

sometimes I feel more bigness than I've shared with you

sometimes I wonder why I quell when I'm not required to



I've tried to be small I've tried to be stunted

I've tried roadblocks and all

my happy endings prevented



sometimes I feel it's all just too big to be true

I sabotage myself for fear of what my bigness could do



fear of bliss and fear of joyitude

fear of bigness (and ensuing solitude?)



I could be golden I could be glowing I could be freedom

but that could be boring



sometimes I feel this is too scary to be true

I sabotage myself for fear of losing you



this talk of liberation makes me want to go lie down

under the covers til the terror of the unknown is gone



I could be full I could be thriving I could be shining

sounds isolating



sometimes I feel this is too good to be true

I sabotage myself for fear of what my joy could do