I'm feeling so sick, someone get me a beer

My life is in shambles, you know I'm a Queer

My head it really pounds and pounds

Records just go round and round

Mom and Dad they hate my guts

The only girls I know are sluts

Say I'm deeply troubled

Oh I shake me head it just ain't so

Daddy beat me with a hose

Got kicked out of the Webelos

Feeling so groovy

I'm feeling so groovy

I'm feeling so groovy it sucks

Phone's disconnected, hey I'll never learn

Just eleven more months 'til my income tax returns

I'm really not that dumb ya know

Got lots of beer and Tuinols

Ran over Rin Tin Tin today

His Alpo's mine now, hey it's great

Say I'm deeply troubled

Oh I shake me head it just ain't so

Daddy beat me with a hose

Got kicked out of the Webelos

CHORUS

Well I was walking down the street

With my head held high

Thinking everything was alright

When a big fat bird came and shit on me head

Man that's the story of my life Feeling so sick, someone get me a beer

My life is in shambles, you know I'm Joe Queer

I'm really not that dumb ya know

Got lots of beer and Tuinols

Ran over Rin Tin Tin today

His Alpo's mine now, hey it's great

Say I'm deeply troubled

Oh I shake me head it just ain't so

I've gone completely out of hand

I want Dan Vapid in my band

CHORUS