Well the dice that I roll

never seems to land on six

and that 48 card pack

is short of some of my old tricks





The horse I bet on all those years ago

is probably still running round the track

Like the marriage that I gambled on

I'm due my money back







We could've learned, we could've burned

from the firework love ignites

but that sparkler of romance

it proved impossible to light

If your country code or your green cross code

It can leave a lasting mark

History books have showed, follow safety code

and stamp out your final spark







Well the husband that I married once

I should've kept him in a cage

Kept him sitting waiting there

to show the tortoise middle-age







Cause you never back an animal

that struggles on two legs

I'd rather back a stray with three

then one that sits up and just begs







Milk will curdle, cheese go off

expensive wine mature

kids grow up, parents down

husbands turn to tragic bore







Receipts and life insurance all very well

but don't fully cover hate

So you can't return this idiot

When he's past his sell-by-date