O'Brien was a friend of mine and he had a mighty wife

She bore him eighteen children, through years of joy and strife

When her temper started risin', she would turn a brilliant red

And she'd maybe break a bowl or two, as she thundered off to bed



Give the woman in the bed more porter

Give the woman in the bed more porter

Give the woman in the bed more porter

Before she wrecks the house



When she'd drunk her fill of porter, then she'd begin to snore

And the bed would shake and rattle, as it pounded 'round the floor

O'Brien manned the kitchen while the blankets flew about

And he'd run like hell to buy more drink and she'd begin to shout



Give the woman in the bed more porter

Give the woman in the bed more porter

Give the woman in the bed more porter

Before she wrecks the house



The doctors tried for years and years, to cool her temper down

They fed her herbs and potions, and powders by the pound

But the man who found the cure for her, a scorcher, Paddy Mallon

Said to keep her calm you've got to give her porter by the gallon



Give the woman in the bed more porter

Give the woman in the bed more porter

Give the woman in the bed more porter

Before she wrecks the house



Well the porter kept her cool and calm, and porter made her sing

And sometimes when she'd had enough she'd dance a Highland Fling

When O'Brien took a drop himself, he'd join her in a song

And a happier pair you'd never see, and they'd sing the whole night long



Give the woman in the bed more porter

Give the woman in the bed more porter

Give the woman in the bed more porter

Before she wrecks the house



Give the woman in the bed more porter-aca