How Can I Keep From Swinging

Craig Johnson



Our life flows on, an endless song

Of tedium and frustration.

With love grown old, and sex grown cold

What's left for recreation?

And so we slumber by the tube,

But..Hark! The doorbell's ringing

It's Bob and Sal and Ted and Sue..

How can we keep from swinging?



We'll take a drink to loosen up

And have some conversation,

Then intermingle on the floor

And practise fornication.

So you grab mine and I'll take yours

While Manilow is singing

By Golly! Did I lock the doors?

How can we keep from swinging?



Since these new friends have come our way

Our lifestyle's been most frightening;

Mazola parties every day,

And Kama Sutras nightly.

There's videos and Polaroids

While lingerie we're flinging...

Creative use of chocolate fudge

How can we keep from swinging?



So you do mine and I'll do yours,

And we'll do one another.

Why not invite the folks nest door?

And likewise Dad and Mother?

And when the months have passed away

And we're left sore and stinging,

We'll wish Aunt Mabel hadn't come..

How can we keep from swinging?

from Bill Day's singing

@parody @HARMONY @sex

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