My mouth was just as dry as the tampon dispenser

In the women's bathroom at the Oceanside bus station

A constipated woman barged in on me and said

";Eeek! A boy! Get out before I call Queer Nation!";

But the police did arrive

And they said, ";What's with this guy?

He's been watching these women pee

Doin' a study like he's doctor Leakey

Just to learn about love";



But I want to learn about love

Yeah I want to learn about love

Yeah I want to learn about love

Can you show me today?



Well I walked into the adult bookstore

And my heart was beating louder than the drums at the tip of Zimbabwe

They never taught me nothin' 'bout this in Catholic School

They only said if I was bad, I would incur the wrath of Mr. Yahweh

But the bodies were uncurled

And they screamed and moaned and hurled

And the boys was dressed as girls

And the women got splashed with pearls

And they said it was love



But I want to learn about love

Yeah I want to learn about love

Yeah I want to learn about love

Can you show me today?



Well I cruised the red light zone

But I still felt all alone

And I turned a nasty trick

And I drank till I got sick

I'm sick, I'm so sick, I'm so sick



Well I watched Oprah the other day

There were some mothers on the show that decided to screw their daughters' boyfriends

The daughters were mad, and the boyfriends were glad

Because they got an education by burnin' the candle at both ends

Oprah's dress was canary yellow

And I think that she fancied that fellow

And the crotch in his corduroys bulged

And the truth it was soon divulged

When they taught us 'bout love



But I want to learn about love-a