I wish I was a lesbian, and not a hetero.

I wouldn't have to deal with men and all their come and go,

And all their yucky yucky facial hair and all their machis'mo!

I wish I were a lesbian and not a hetero!



I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn't straight.

I'd sleep with women only. Man, it would be great.

I'd throw away my diaphragm, I wouldn't want to mate.

I wish I was a lesbian, and that I wasn't straight!



I wish I were a lesbian, I'd like to be a dyke.

I'd sleep with k.d. lang. Mel Gibson, take a hike!

I think it would be nice to love someone who was alike.

I wish I was a lesbian, I'd like to be a dyke!



I wish I was a lesbian, that's why this song is sung.

It shouldn't really matter how somebody is hung.

Other things are more important- like how you use your tongue!

I wish I was a lesbian, that's why this song is sung!



I DARE Casey Kasem to play this!



I wish I was a lesbian, and not a hetero.

I wouldn't have to deal with men and all their come and go,

And all their yucky facial hair and all their machis'mo

(I hate that machis'mo!)

I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero