If I was your tv I'd be like "Look at me"

If I was a shooting star I'd be like "Peace!"

If I was a fat bitches thong I'd be like "Hell naw!'

If I was a hotties thong I'd be like "Awwww..."

If I was a cuss word I'd just be like "fuck"

If I was a rock on the moon I'd be chillin' like "Sup?"

If I was a butthole I'd just be an exit

If I was the D.O.C. I'd be like "man this is bullshit"

If I was the tires on your car I'd be like "NEEEAAAWWW"

If I was the bumper on your car I'd be like "Aww fuck"

If I was a balloon I'd be like "pap"

If I was Allysa Milano I'd be fucking Joe Bruce

If I was a radio DJ I'd probably say "the point 103"

If I was a richy ass bitch I'd be like "umm...ok"

If I was Spin magazine I'd put me on the cover and be like "fuck us! And

I won't read this, even us motherfucker!"

If I was your mental stress I'd be catching up

If I was your headaches every now and then I'd be like "THONNNKK!!"

If I was your tongue I'd be hating your teeth I'd be like "Man why do

you try to bite me every time we try to eat?"

If I was a chair I'd be like "Sit here"

If I was Kid Rock I'd cut my feathered wolf hair

If I was your muffler I'd be like "Shhh, quietly"

If I was a price tag I'd be like "You ain't buying me"

If I was a fresh ass DJ I'd be like [records scratch]

If I was Jam Master J I'd be like [records scratch]

If I was a cheap clock radio I'd be like [static]

"Tune that motherfucker in"

If I was Barry White I'd be like "What up y'all?"

If I was nipple in the cold I'd be like "Boing"

If I was your dead uncle I'd be like "....."

If I was a raindrop I'd just be like "drip"

And If I had an ax to your neck I might say "CHOP!"-acapo