I heard he was gonna marry some girl from Denver

Then my sister came over, had the Sunday paper with her

There was the girl on the social page

Lookin' in love and all engaged

We decided she don't take a very good picture

(Chorus)

It may be my family's redneck nature

Rubbin' off, bringin' out unlady-like behavior

It sure ain't Christian to judge a stranger

But I don't like her

She may be a stranger who spends all winter

Bringin' the homeless blankets and dinner

A regular Nobel Peace Prize winner

But I really hate her

I'll think of a reason later

I drew horns and blacked out her tooth with a marker

Childish, yes, but she made such a thin little target

I couldn't be happier on my own

But I've got the slightest of a jealous bone

And seein' her with him tends to enlarge it

(repeat chorus)

Inside her head may lay all the answers

For curin' diseases from baldness to cancer

Salt of the earth and a real good dancer

But I really hate her

I'll think of a reason later

(Spoken) Well, it was just one tooth

Did I mention I don't particularly care for her?

She makes me sick...