For years and years I've been alone, me, spinster on the shelf

I'm right fed up with spendin' all me money on meself

I'm all prepared for married life, it's secrets I've been taught

And here's some little odds and ends I've been and gone and bought



One bridal gown, one eiderdown

I've been savin' 'em up since 1894

Got me ribbons and me bows

And there's these and them and those

All packed up in me little bottom drawer



One baby's cot, one flower pot

Where I've planted a ramblin' rose bush for the door

Got a motto for the wall, it says Heaven Help Us All

All packed up in me little bottom drawer



Got a pianner, under the staircase

And I'm teachin' meself to play the maiden's prayer

One toilet set, one bassinet

Now I'm waitin' for love to open up the door

Got a set of Priestley's works and a case of eggs from Turks

All packed up in me little bottom drawer



I've answered every advert in the Matrimonial Times

I've bought me own confetti and a case of weddin' chimes

At night I count me treausres just to see they haven't strayed

I'm very patriotic, everyone is British made



One chiffonier, one keg of beer

And some orange and purple lino for the floor

Got a new pyjama set, made of bright red flannellette

All packed up in me little bottom drawer



One persian rug, one china jug

And some beautiful silverware from Woolworth's stores

With a book by Doctor Pfife, I'm out to be a perfect wife

All packed up in me little bottom drawer



We'll have a bathroo-oom, a beautiful bathroom

And a lovely bath where we can keep the coals

Horse shoe for luck, bell for the muck

And a President Hooverc1