There's a tramp sittin' on my doorstep

Tryin' to waste his time

With his methylated sandwich

He's a walking clothesline

And here comes the bishop's daughter

On the other side

She looks a trifle jealous

She's been an outcast all her life



Me, I'm waiting so patiently

Lying on the floor

I'm just trying to do my jig-saw puzzle

Before it rains anymore



Oh the gangster looks so fright'ning

With his luger in his hand

When he gets home to his children

He's a family man

But when it comes to the nitty-gritty

He can shove in his knife

Yes he really looks quite religious

He's been an outlaw all his life



Me, I'm waiting so patiently

Lying on the floor

I'm just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle

Before it rains anymore



Me, I'm waiting so patiently

Lying on the floor

I'm just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle

Before it rains anymore



Oh the singer, he looks angry

At being thrown to the lions

And the bass player, he looks nervous

About the girls outside

And the drummer, he's so shattered

Trying to keep on time

And the guitar players look damaged

They've been outcasts all thier lives



Me, I'm waiting so patiently

Lying on the floor

I'm just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle

Before it rains anymore



Oh, there's twenty-thousand grandmas

Wave their hankies in the air

All burning up their pensions

And shouting, "It's not fair!"

There's a regiment of soldiers

Standing looking on

And the queen is bravely shouting,

"What the hell is going on?"



With a blood-curdling "tally-ho"

She charged into the ranks

And blessed all those grandmas who

With their dying breaths screamed, "Thanks!"



Me, I'm just waiting so patiently

With my woman on the floor

We're just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle

Before it rains anymore