When the game of like makes you feel like quittin'

it helps a lot if you kill a kitten.



Mark my words 'cause from where I'm sittin'

you can't go wrong if you kill a kitten.



There's no crime that you'd be committin.'

I know the law -- you can kill a kitten.



And if you need yarn for that scarf you're knittin' you'll get plenty

when you kill a kitten.



Feed it turpentine or break its spine.

Crush it with your shoe as long as you kill a kitten.



If the one you love isn't quite as smitten,

she'll like you better if you kill a kitten.



And I'll quote the bible 'cause that's where it's written,

if ye loveth Jesus ye must kill a kitten.



Flush it down the can.

Hit it with your van.

Drown it in a lake.

Bake a kitty cake.

Throw it at a train.

Make it snort cocaine.

Stick some TNT up its cat booty.



Do what you must do as long as you

kill a kitten.



Killing kittens isn't easy

and if the thought makes you feel queasy

grab a pitchfork from the shed

and kill a puppy dog instead.



Kill a kitten.

Kill a kitten

a little furry kitten.