Billy solves his problems by calling up his mom

Heather solves her problems with drugs and Alcohol

Daniel solves his problems with a doctor and the law

But Malcolm has his own way and it's better than them all



CHORUS

'Cause Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw

and he never has the same problem twice



Whether it's a bill or a cheque arriving late

Rancid marble cheese or a steak that's second rate

Awful TV programs or a broken ELvis plate

Or his fiancee who dumps him because he's gaining weight



CHORUS



Aaaaggghhh Aaaaggghhh

problem solved