Merry Fucking Christmas - Mr Garrison



I heard there is no Christmas

In the silly Middle East

No trees, no snow, so Santa Claus,

They have different religious beliefs

They believe in Muhammed, and not in our holiday,

And so every December I go to the Middle East and say



Hey there Mr Muslim, Merry Fucking Christmas

Put down that book, the Koran,

And here's some holiday wishes.

In case you haven't noticed it's Jesus' birthday

So get off your heathen Muslim ass and fucking celebrate



There is no holiday season in India, I've heard

They don't hang up their stockings, and that is just absurd

They've never read a Christmas story,

They don't know what Rudolph is about.

And that is why in December I'll go to India and shout



Hey there Mr Hinduist, Merry Fucking Christmas

Drink Egg Nog and eat some Beef and pass it to the Missus

In case you haven't noticed it's Jesus' birthday

So get off your heathen Hindu ass and fucking celebrate



Now I heard that in Japan everyone just lives in sin

They pray to several Gods, and put needles in their skin

On December 25th, all they do is eat a cake

And that is why I go to Japan, and walk around and say



Hey there Mr Shintoist, Merry Fucking Christmas

God is going to kick your ass you infidelic Pagan scum

In case you haven't noticed, there's festive things to do

So lets all rejoice for Jesus, Merry Fucking Christmas to you



On Christmas day,

I travel 'round the world and say

To all you Christians, Buddhists, and all you Atheists too

Merry Fucking Christmas to you



Thank you Mr Hat