Make it like that famous country singer

Or that guy I saw last night on Jerry Springer

Clean me up but let me keep my edge,

In the day I like to keep it dignified

But at night you know I got another side

And I don't give a damn, cause I am what I am

Even if it's really really bad

I've got an Ape Drape, yes I do

They're givin' em to anyone, and that means you

You can drive to Riverside and get one too

And then you'll have an Ape Drape like I do

Go ahead and buzz it 'round the ears

I've been growin' that one braid back there for years

I've had it since the first time I saw Queensryche

The front may conform to society

But the back says I have personality

Even if it's really really, even if it's really really bad

Make it short in front and long in back!

If the top's not short enough that it stands up

I could be thrown out of the Bad Boy Club

But don't you lay a finger on my pony tail

Now fix my kid so he looks just like me,

And then matching crazy pants are all we need

Some may call it child abuse I just call it bonding with you Dad.

Norco Neck Warmer...Norco

HOCKEY HAIR...CANADA

ACHY BREAKY HAIR...Nashville

Mullet...HOBOKEN

Forbidden Hair...Europe

Shlong...Florida