Full color cover shot

Self magazine

Where the limos go

People start to scream

Shiny women on a yacht

These are things i ain't got



None of the above



Top ten well dressed men

Every hair in place

Author, skier, millionaire

Epitome of taste

Always willing, always hot,

All these things i am not



None of the above



I wish i was invisible,

Intelligent or pretty

But i'm none of the above