what didn't kill me

left me cold enough to live this lie

now i drift desensitized reality has

had it's way with this time

confidence now lost in comfort

of familiar habits

i know it's destructive

but i can not get past this barricade

i boiled up inside too high

i've got to pull out of numbing phase

hold down this fear

push back self doubt

i'm most afraid that i will fall to failure

so much to say can't get it out

it's all a waste chaste

forced to indignant taste

self propelled rejection

it's more than i can take (right now)

so sick of hiding from what i can't face

so sick of hiding from what i can't face

i must get through this wall of insecurity

the thought of rejection more than

i can take and i've got to get out of this numb
phase

set numb aside