[1st verse:]

Talk about your funny masquerades

Talk about your funny looking braids

Did you hear of the four old maids

Who gave a fancy ball

Old maids gathered from every town

Each one dressed up in a funny gown

I was asked to go and so I hurried

Down to the old maids ball



[chorus:]

There were old maids short and tall

Dancing 'round the hall

One who knew us drew up to us

She was older than St. Louis

Miss Melinda Rand

Led the female band

And when they played "Here comes the Bride"

Four old maids sat down and cried

Someone hollered "There's a man outside"

And broke up the old maids ball



[2nd verse:]

Everybody in the hall was asked

Not to laugh, and say it was a task

What I thought was a funny mask

Turned out to be a face

Someone came to me and put me wise

Fifty dollars was the standing prize

To the one who had a perfect figure

Nobody won the prize



[2nd chorus:]

There were old maids short and tall

Dancing 'round the hall

One who knew us drew up to us

She was older than St. Louis

Miss Melinda Rand

Led the female band

And one old maid named Geraldine

Oldest maid I've ever seen

Said, "Tomorrow I'll be seventeen"

And broke up the old maids ball