Remember I made you eat crab apple

And you were sick for a week

Then I stuck your sucky up the chimney

'Till you cried for a week

Then I killed your canary with the hair dryer

And kicked you just to see you bruise

Purple and blue



I was only joking my dear

Didn't mean to hurt you all those years

Thought that they were really laughter tears

I was only joking my dear

Oh dear



Remember I told everyone you went all the way

With that fella from Artane

And all the blokes called you Seven Stars

When we were on our way to Mass with Ma

Then to make matters worse when you blushed

I called you beetrout and tomato head

Purple and red



I was only joking my dear

Didn't mean to hurt you all these years

Thought that they were really laughter tears

I was only joking my dear



Remember I borrowed your favorite jeans

Took them in and cut them at the seams

So they'd fit me

You went ballistic when I called your boyfriend

Chancre head and made ashtrays from your

Bread records...

Oh well, what the hell, you got your own back

Purple and black



I was only joking my dear

Didn't mean to hurt you all these years

Thought that they were really laughter tears

I was only joking my dear



I was only joking my dear

Didn't mean to hurt you all those years

Thought that they were really laughter tears

I was only joking my dear



Oh dear