What makes you think I'm crazy about you?

What makes you think I can't do without you?

I've looked you over carefully

And if I never see you again, it's soon enough for me



I hate the ground you walk upon

I hate the phone you talk upon

I hate 'most ev'rything that you do



I hate that funny little mouth you drink with

That peanut on your shoulders that you think with



I hate the rouge upon your lips

The polish on your finger tips

I hate your eyes of heavenly blue



I hate the way you sigh, honest I do

Outside of that, I love you





[Female version:]

I hate the way you comb your hair

I hate the flashy clothes you wear

I hate the patent shine on your shoe



I hate the closet that you keep your clothes in

I hate the handkerchief you blow your nose in



I hate the smell of your cigar

The way you lean against a bar

I hate the jokes you tell that are blue



I hate that fancy tie, honest I do

Outside of that, I love you