I'm tired of self-respect

I can't afford a car

I wanna be a prefab superstar



I wanna be a tool

Don't need no soul

Wanna make big money

Playing rock and roll



I'll make my music boring

I'll play my music slow

I ain't no artist I'm a businessman

No ideas of my own



I won't offend

Or rock the boat

Just sex and drugs

And rock and roll



Drool, drool, drool, drool, drool (etc.)

My payola!

Drool, drool, drool, drool, drool (etc.)

My payola!



You'll pay ten bucks to see me

On a fifteen foot high stage

Fatass bouncers kick the shit

Out of kids who try to dance



If my friends say

I''ve lost my guts

I'll laugh and say

That's rock and roll



But there's just one problem...



Is my cock big enough

Is my brain small enough

For you to make me a star

Give me a toot,

I'll sell you my soul

Pull my strings and I'll go far



And when I'm rich

And meet Bob Hope

We'll shoot some golf

And shoot some dope



Is my cock big enough

Is my brain small enough

For you to make me a star

Give me a toot,

I'll sell you my soul

Pull my strings and I'll go far