Washing machine, pinstripe dream

Stripped the gloss from a beauty queen

Found our nest, in the Daily Express

Met the vicar in a holy vest

Brought up the children Church of E

Now I vegetate with a colour TV

Worst ever thing that ever happened to me

Oh, for D.I.V.O.R.C.E., oh Judy



Whatever happened to pillow fights

Whatever happened to jeans so tight, Friday nights

Whatever happened to lover's lane

Whatever happened to passion games

Sunday walks in the pouring rain



Curling tongs, mogadons

"I got a headache baby, don't take so long"

Single beds, middle age dread

Losing the war in the Waistlands spread



Who left the cap of the toothpaste tube

Who forgot to flush the loo

Leave your sweaty socks outside the door

Don't walk across my polished floor, oh Judy



Whatever happened to morning smiles

Whatever happened to wicked wiles, permissive styles

Whatever happened to twinkling eyes, hard fast drives

Complements on unnatural size



Propping up a bar, family car

Sweating out a mortgage as a balding clerk

World war three, suburbanshee

Just slip her these pills and I'll be free



No more Judy, Judy, Judy no more

Goodbye Judy