(Words MacManusO'Riordan, music: Costello)

I favour a good punishing kiss

it helps pass the lonely afternoon

another stiff drink, wipe off that lipstick

For when you reach a certain age

All the most villainous men can be found on Channel Ten

I make them dance in attendance

'We will be back in a minute or two'

And he will punish that girl

Oh forget the reason

Just look at me I'm lost in a social whirl

She was never so witty

Always struggling to be full of fun

'On weekdays

From mid-day to one'

In a little black cocktail dress everyone hates

She'll be saving the world inbetween fashion plates

I know what she gets up to in the back of that blacked out limousine

And I catch myself shouting at the screen

I think that it's time to turn over

They say it's harmless I know

A hundred and ten percent certain

Virtually real

If you need something to feel

Then favour a punishing kiss

It helps chase the wasted afternoons

The flowers and pearls

The long lost relations

That love sick tom-boy comes in bloom

The pointless heartache

That seems to belong in my blue room

Can't stand the suspense

The endless embraces

Each episode lends the silly pretence

Say I can look away when I will never miss it

Starts with a joke

And ends with a punishing kiss