Eddie Harold used a tape recorder

When he had one of his girlfriends over

He didn't want to miss a single scream

His friends all laughed when he played it later

You had to wonder, did he really hate her?

Girls always made him nervous, that's to blame

And makin' love was just a crazy game

The woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks



In her apartment was a plastic altar

She'd light a candle when her courage faltered

Sometimes the world got a little hard to bear

It wasn't easy living in the city

She wasn't clever and she wasn't pretty

She chanted in the night but no one cared

The woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks



Freddie's wife became a topless dancer

Had bondage parties with a Turkish bouncer

She's been evicted, the police have got her car

She tried to sell an antique shotgun

She said she knows some crazy guy who wants one

Her parents said "You're not our daughter, you're a whore.

It's over and you don't live here anymore."

The woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks



The woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks

The woodwork squeaks and

"Strangers In The Night"

The woodwork squeaks and

"Papa's Got A Brand New Bag"

The woodwork squeaks and

"The Shadow Of Your Smile"

The woodwork squeaks and

"Take The Last Train To Clarksville"

The woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks