Take a piece of tinsel and put it on the tree

Cut a slab of melon and pretend that you still love me

Carve out a pumpkin and rely on your destiny

Get in your car and cruise the land of the brave and free



But don't forget to understand exactly what you put on the tree

Don't believe the florist when he tells you that the roses are free



Take a wrinkled raisan, and do with it what you will

Push it into third if you know you're gonna climb a hill

Eat plenty of lasagna 'til you know that you've had your fill

Resist all the urges that make you wanna go out and kill



But don't forget to understand exactly what you put on the tree

Don't believe the florist when he tells you that the roses are free



Throw that pumpkin at the tree

Unless you think that pumpkin holds your destiny

Cast it off into the sea, bake that pie and eat it with me