Dear dirty London in the pouring rain

I wish to God I was back on the sea again

Though that belongs to the world of never will be

There was never a wilder bastard than me on the sea

I could fuck all the whores in damnation me boys

Though they wriggled and hollered and made a great noise

Then I'd drink till I stank and then drink plenty more

And I won't go down to the sea any more

But if I had ten pounds then I'd raise a loud cheer

And I'd toast all me neighbours both distant and dear

And I'd shoot back great belly-crippling buckets of beer

And a pox and a curse on the people round here

Wouldn't give you me the price of a half pint of beer

Wouldn't give you me the price of a cup of good cheer

A pox and a curse on the people round here



A man's ambition must indeed be small

To write his name upon a shithouse wall

But before I die I'll add my regal scrawl

To show the world I'm left with sweet fuck all

And when all of us bold shithouse poets do die

A monument grand they will raise to the sky

A monument made just to mark our great wit

A monument of solid shit now me boys

I met with Bill James we fought over crusts

I called him a whore and he booted me crotch

Then we shared out the jack and we thought it a treat

The compliments pass when the quality meet

The compliments pass when the quality meet

The compliments pass when the quality meet

The compliments pass when the quality meet