The credits roll, the camera pans

And in the mist our hero stands

He starts to speak, then folds his hands in prayer

An awkward pause, then what's my line?

There's nothing left to say this time

And what would you say to a bad guy who's not there?

In terms of Roman numerals,

He's IV league with Roman Polanski

He'd win an Oscar every time if he was only given the chance



He started on the Broadway stage

A product of another age,

An offer and a pilot drew him west

The series bombed, commercials came

And though nobody knew his name

They all recognized the potential he possessed

Deodorants and dental floss

And home much does that new car cost

His acting was methodical in You Don't Need A Medical

He's branded like a racing car,

He's like a movie star without movies.



The week of Independence Day,

The casting agent called to say

Your smile could save our movie and the world



Buy buy buy buy

Sell sell sell

How well you learn

To not discern

Who's foe and who is friend

We'll own them all in the end



It goes like this, we have no choice; the minarets,

The wailing voice

And vaguely Celtic music fills the air

We choose a foreigner to hate,

The new Iraq gets more irate

We really know nothing about them, and no one cares

Aladdin and the forty thieves

Enhanced by brand new special effects

Saddam and his cow disease spiced up

With some gratuitous sex

A movie's made, a war is won

A low-speed chase, a smoking gun

Distracts us while the actor takes the stand



Buy buy buy buy

Sell sell sell

How well you learn

To not discern

Who's for and who is friend

We'll own them all in the end