About a century since,

The code of the duello

To sudden death

For want of breath

Sent many a strapping fellow.

The then presiding Prince

(Who useless bloodshed hated),

He passed an Act,

Short and compact,

Which may be briefly stated.

Unlike the complicated laws

A Parliamentary draftsman draws,

It may be briefly stated.



ALL:

We know that complicated laws,

Such as a legal draftsman draws,

Cannot be briefly stated.



NOT:

By this ingenious law,

If any two shall quarrel,

They may not fight

With falchions bright

(Which seemed to him immoral);

But each a card shall draw,

And he who draws the lowest

Shall (so 'twas said)

Be thenceforth dead--

In fact, a legal "ghoest"

(When exigence of rhyme compels,

Orthography forgoes her spells,

And "ghost" is written "ghoest").



ALL (aside):

With what an emphasis he dwells

Upon "orthography" and "spells"!

That kind of fun's the lowest.



NOT:

When off the loser's popped

(By pleasing legal fiction),

And friend and foe

Have wept their woe

In counterfeit affliction,

The winner must adopt

The loser's poor relations--

Discharge his debts,

Pay all his bets,

And take his obligations.



In short, to briefly sum the case,

The winner takes the loser's place,

With all its obligations.



ALL:

How neatly lawyers state a case!

The winner takes the loser's place,

With all its obligations!

.