Spivy Leeks was a drip of a man

I met him washing dishes in a local cafe

And he told me if...were fishes

He'd steal all their scales and he ... away

Spivy Leeks was an introvert

Like a broken radio

He'd make your day real long

An end result, ... time he looked up women's skirt

Just trying to figure out what was right from what was wrong



He was looking for Jesus in all the wrong places

There in my hole, save his soul

Spivy Leeks, It's time to go home



Spivy Leeks was an odd looking man

He looks just like a pool table

Shoved into jeans

And he thought that he possessed a secret power

And no matter what he did, he would be redeemed



Spivy Leeks lived at the local 7-11

He looked at dirty magazines most everyday

He studied those pictures like he studied the Bible

He thought that they were angels and that he'd been saved



He was looking for Jesus in all the wrong places

There in my hole, save his soul

Spivy Leeks, It's time to go home



Spivy Leeks robbed a liquor store

Instead of a gun, he used a candy bar

He told the cashiers that he was their saviour

But his holiness,

His holiness and his Baby Ruth didn't get him very far



Spivy Leeks died a glorious death

Down on main street

It was quite a public site

And as Mr. Sheriff man was about to

Blow him to pieces

He said "Hallelujah, I'm coming home tonight