Not long ago I went through the gate of dreams

I came to the famous City of Destruction

Where now a shuttle runs to the Emerald City

With air miles and big group reductions

So I went to the ticket office where Evangelist sat

And reserved seats through credit card calls

I said ' How does it feel now they changed your job?'

He said 'Now I don't feel anything at all'



As we moved off I looked down on the Myre of Despair

From a bridge that passed a thousand miles above

Its legs were made of books that they'd thrown into the mud

And the books were of philosophy and love

As we reached the Hill of Difficulty, we waited for a climb

They'd dug a tunnel through the center of the stone

And with the excess rock, well the valley became landfill

Where once you'd had to walk down there alone



All aboard, all aboard the Celestial Shuttle

For a journey free of care, for a journey free of trouble

All aboard, all aboard the Celestial Shuttle

For all those who seek the truth but don't have the time to get there

Don't have the time to get there



The train ride felt so smooth that I put my feet up

Barely noticing the motion of the carriage

The stewardess was Prudence with her sister Charity

For fifteen grand they'd sell their hands in marriage

And just as we were entering the Valley of Death

I expected to be plunged into the darkness

But the company had floodlit the underground gloom

Taken care not to make this place seem joyless



All aboard, all aboard the Celestial Shuttle

For a journey free of care, for a journey free of trouble

All aboard, all aboard the Celestial Shuttle

For all those with the money, just tender up the fare

Just tender up the fare

-a