Young Gladys was a silky maiden

At thirteen, she was going strong, yeah.

Oh, Gladys.



Nicely filled out, fully laden,

But down below there was something wrong, yeah.

Oh, Gladys.



Nobody told her about the secrets

That ladies have to hide

Mom had no words to describe the things

That happened inside.

Need someone to help me,

I feel that there's a curse on me, oh.



Went down into the local disco,

For what used to be the one night, yeah,

Oh Gladys.



Felt a searching hand to frisk her,

Along the legs of the water line, yeah,

Oh Gladys.



Now Gladys knew she was in no condition

In no mood to play



I cracked a knee in her soft spot, nothing

Had got in her way.



I want no one to touch me,

I feel there's a curse on me, oh.



Directed down to the local drugstore

Got fixed up, now she's doing fine, yeah

Oh Gladys



Equipped with various kinds of apparatus

You know the feminine hygiene kind, yeah

Oh Gladys



Must have been a man to do these things

Who won her fall from grace

That day he programmed me

(That lady programmed me?)

You should have seen the smile on his face

He said ``You'll need someone to help you

When you feel like cursing me'', oh.