At the KOC Local 313

There's a fat man standing by the soda machine

And he knows, he knows, he knows

Life can be funny



He calls the hair salon says put Loretta on

Cause the mall just called and said the last guy's gone

And I know, I know, God knows

We need the money



And he's a big red cherry

But it's hard to be merry

When the kids are all laughing

Saying hey it's Jerry Garcia

Ain't he cute?

The man in the Santa suit



And all the Moms in town bring their brats around

And they can't sit still or keep their rootbeer down

Now it's up, hey how 'bout that

It looks like a milkshake



Now Jimmy's grown this year says Mommy quick come here

Santa's sweaty and he smells like beer

And he says, kid shut your mouth

You give me a headache



And he's jolly and hairy

But it's hard to be merry

When the guys at the bar

Say he looks like a fairy

But he's doing it just for the loot

The man in the Santa suit



[break] verse x2



And he's a big red cherry

He's jolly and hairy

Everyone's laughing, but he doesn't care

He stays cool

Ain't he cute?

The man in the Santa suit



[fade out with intro]


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