Hmm

A fine romance, my good fellow

You take romance, I'll take jello

You're calmer than the seals

In the Arctic Ocean

At least they flap their fins

To express emotio-ion



A fine romance with no quarrels

With no insults, and all morals

I've never mussed the crease

In your blue serge pants

I never get the chance

This is a fine romance



Hmm

A fine romance, with no kisses

A fine romance, my friend, this is

To have, to have the thrills

That a healthy crime has

We don't have half the thrills

That the march of time has



A fine romance, with no clinches

A fine romance, with no pinches

You're just as hard to land

As the Ille de France

I haven't got a chance

My heart's not made of plastic

You're the reason I'm sarcastic

'Cause this is a fine, fine romance



Hah!