You thought that many, many years ago

You saw the last of every soldier show

But here we are, yes, here we are again

A lot of water's gone across the dam

Since we put make-up on for Uncle Sam

To treat you as our fathers treated you then

We were drafted by our president

And we march with banners unfurled

We were drilled and trained to represent

The greatest army in the world

Yes, the greatest army of actors in the world



Now don't get us wrong

We're not here for long

Our stay in the theater is brief

We're here with the show

To help get some dough

Some dough for the Army Relief

The much-needed Army Relief



But beneath the powder and beneath the paint

There's a soldier brave and true

If some guy in Congress tells you that we ain't

Let him do what we had to do

And go through what we went through



We all have been selected

From city and from farm

They asked us lots of questions

They jabbed us in the arm

We stood there at attention

Our faces turning red

The sergeant looked us over

And this is what he said



This is the Army, Mister Jones

No private rooms or telephones

You had your breakfast in bed before

But you won't have it there anymore



This is the Army, Mister Green

We like the barracks nice and clean

You had a housemaid to clean your floor

But she won't help you out anymore



Do what the buglers command

They're in the Army and not in a band



This is the Army, Mister Brown

You and your baby went to town

She had you worried but this is war

And she won't worry you anymore