VERY UNFORTUNATE MAN

(Jimmy Driftwood's reworking of an older song)



There was a lawyer, his name was Clay

He had but two clients and they wouldn't pay

At last, of starvation, he grew so afraid

He courted and married a wealthy old maid.

At the wedding this lawyer made one big mistake

'Twas not in omitting the wine or the cake

The ring was well chosen, they had a big feed

But the lawyer did not get a warranty deed



He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate, very unfortunate man

He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate, very unfortunate man



At night in their chamber, this lady arose

And began to prepare to retire and repose

Her husband sat near her admiring her charms

That gave him such pleasure to hold in his arms

She went to the washstand to bathe her fair face

And thus she destroyed all her beauty and grace

The rose on her cheek quickly grew very faint

And he saw on the towel, 'twas nothing but paint



She went to the mirror to take down her hair

And when she got done, her scalp was all bare

Said she, don't be frightened to see my bald head

I'll put on my cap when I get into bed

She hung her false hair on the wall on a peg

And then she proceeded to take off her leg

Her trembling husband got quite a surprise

When she asked him to come and take out her glass eye



The husband stood watching, with trembling lips,

While she unfastened her counterfeit hips;

Just then her false nose clattered down on the floor

And the poor lawyer, screaming, ran out of the door.

Now all you young men who would marry for life,

Be sure in examine your intended wife.

Remember the lawyer who trusted his eyes

And a little while later got quite a surprise.



Copyright Warden Music Co., Inc.

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@marriage @law

RG

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