Well, I had myself a girlfriend

For almost two whole years

We had no secrets

We had no fears

There was nothing we wouldn't do

When we were in the sack

She'd even pop the zit on my back

But one night I was out cheating

After I drank a few

She caught me red handed

And said we're through

Now she's got a new boyfriend

It nearly gave me a heart attack

'Cuz who's gonna pop this zit on my back?

Well I got a pimple and I don't know why

It keeps growing in the same place

I can't reach it with my left or right hand

I wish it was on my face

It's four days old

And it hurts so bad

But it's ready for a squeeze

Won't somebody pop it for me please?

I'll give you ten dollars

If you're a girl in this lonely world

And you're looking for a guy

I'll never cheat again, I promise

That's no lie

There's only one thing I ask of you

Could we name our first child Zak?

Oh, one more thing

Please pop this zit on my back

I'm dying here!

A pimple ay-hee

A pop-a-doodly-doo

Squirt heedly-hoo

Well I'm sitting alone by the phone

And no one seems to call

I try to scrape my zit off on the kitchen wall

Well that don't work, so I look around

And find a big shiny thumb-tack

Put it on the floor, lay down

Pop the zit on my back