(Lyrics source: Crush With Eyeliner CD single accompanying booklet)

I know you
I know you've seen her
She's a sad tomato
She's three miles of bad road
Walking down the street
Will I never meet her?
She's a real woman child
Oh my kiss breath turpentine

I am smitten
I'm the real thing (I'm the real thing)
Have you seen her come around?
My crush with eyeliner

I'm in like.
I'm in-fatuated.
It's all too much-the pressure
She's all that I can take
What position should I wear?
Cop an attitude? - You faker
How can I convince her? - Faker
That I'm invented too, yeah

I am smitten
I'm the real thing (I'm the real thing)
We all invent ourselves and,
Uh, you know me

She's a sad tomato
She's three miles of bad road
She's her own invention
That gets me in the throat
What can I make myself be?
Life is strange, yeah life is strange
What can I make myself be - Faker
To make her mine?

I am smitten
I'll do anything (I'll do anything)
Oh kiss breath turpentine
My crush with eyeliner

I am smitten
And you know me, yeah
You know me
I could be your Frankenstein
My crush with eyeliner

I am smitten
I'm the real thing (I'm the real thing)
Won't you be my valentine?
My crush with eyeliner