TIGER, IMITATING KRUPKE

Hey you!

RIFF

Who me, Officer Krupke?

TIGER, IMITATING KRUPKE

Yeah you, gimme one good reason for not draggin' ya down the station house, ya punk!

RIFF

Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke

You gotta understand

It's just our bringin' upke

That gets us out of hand

Our mothers all are junkies

Our fathers all are drunks

Golly Moses, natcherly we're punks

JETS

Gee, Officer Krupke

We're very upset

We never had the love

That every child oughta get

We ain't no deliquents

We're misunderstood

Deep down inside us there is good

RIFF

There is good!

JETS

There is good, there is good

There is untapped good

Like inside, the worst of us is good

TIGER, IMITATING KRUPKE

That's a touching good story

RIFF

Lemme tell it to the world!

TIGER, IMITATING KRUPKE

Just tell it to the judge

RIFF

Dear kindly Judge, your Honour

My parents treat me rough

With all their marijuana

They won't give me a puff

They didn't wanna have me

But somehow I was had

Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad

SNOWBOY IMITATING JUDGE

Right! Officer Krupke

You're really a square

This boy don't need a judge

He needs an analyst's care

It's just his neurosis

That oughta be curbed

He's psychologically disturbed

RIFF

I'm disturbed

JETS

We're disturbed, we're disturbed

We're the most disturbed

Like we're psychologically disturbed

SNOWBOY IMITATING JUDGE

Hear ye, hear ye. In the opinion of this court, this child is depraved on account he ain't had a normal home.

RIFF

Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived!

SNOWBOY IMITATIN